Should I Stay or Should I Go

The last couple of weeks in Vancouver were spent trying to catch up with as many of my friends and family as possible. One of the friends I met up with several times was the karaoke addict known as Yosh.  During our multiple sing alongs  I developed a “go to” song that I performed several  times. The song was Should I Stay or Should I Go by the Clash. At the time it was just a song, but looking back the title reflects exactly how I was feeling. The excitement of leaving Canada’s rainy and gray west coast for the beaches of SE Asia and Australia mounted each time Wayne Cox (in his ugly Hawaiian shirts) forecasted another day of typical Van City winter weather. Another factor adding to the excitement of going away again was that I never felt like I was ready to be home and settled. A constant sense of restlessness was always present. The day time was particularly difficult as the majority of my friends were at work making progress up the corporate ladder as I sat at home catching up on several seasons of Dexter. The list of pros for traveling the world is definitely a long one but there is one big con that gets me every time; leaving friends and family behind. My last trip was just shy of four months (104 days to be exact) and featured an expiration date. A return flight that was purchased well before the trip even began. From the first day I set foot in Helsinki I could always look at a calendar and know exactly how long it would be until I got to see everyone again, a comfort I don’t have on this journey. My departure date crept up on me slowly and as it did a feeling of uneasiness grew. I did my best to spend as much time as I could with those most important to me but that didn’t make my pending departure any easier. In fact, it may have made things more difficult as it magnified how much I would miss them. I’ve never been one to deal well with emotions so this round of goodbyes was particularly difficult. Tears were shed. Memories will be made and great experiences will be had as I travel the world, but my heart will remain with those I love back home. Until we meet again…